[OPEN] Some house apes don't domesticate well

[jonesiseverywhere]

[Casey just wanted everything to be...no big deal again.

He'd been cooped up in the apartment too long, with himself and an overflow of energy and a lot of bad thoughts. Greg had come back from the dead and everything was good. Wash had come back from his home (or...wherever) and everything was cool, right? They were basically playing on God Mode now. Yeah, it freaked his friends out at first, but it ought to make them all feel invincible now.

Why didn't it?

Why couldn't he even figure out if it made himself feel invincible?

The question had left him completely restless. He hadn't slept well the night Greg came back, and there was only one cure for it: patrol.

Well, OK, more like looking for a fight. It's just how he unwinds when he's stressed.

He'd mastered the art of climbing out the window in the middle of the night, though he hasn't absolutely nailed down yet if the people he's living with hear him every single time he does. Maybe after he does it five nights in a row...

The thick air, the sounds heightened by silence, the heavy black of the night promising action and danger and the excitement he lived for. He could spend it skating from roof to roof, hunting Nox, seeking out his fellow night owls for whatever adventure they find after all decent people have gone to bed.

He's got his padding and his mask and a head full of steam. Let's see what's goin' down...]

Comments

[unrecovered]

[Wash could understand needing to burn off steam. It'd been stressful around here - more so for everyone who'd been left behind when he was sent back to Chorus and Greg died - so when he woke up to the sounds of Casey sneaking out the first night, he let it go. Casey needed space. It would be okay.]

[By the third night, he was fairly certain Casey wasn't taking backup with him.]

[By the fifth night, he figured it was venturing into unhealthy territory and therefore time to stop. When Casey comes back in his window at the end of the night, he'll find Wash sitting on Casey's bed like he's meant to be there.]

We talked about this.

[The tone is calm, not at all accusatory - for now, it's a statement of fact. They had indeed talked about Casey's habit of sneaking out. The fact that that conversation was months ago for Wash didn't make a difference.]

[jonesiseverywhere]

[It's sort of hard to look in your room when you have to go in through the window legs first, but the light is on and Wash is apparently some kind of psychic when it came to catching Casey doing something he wasn't supposed to.]

Yeah, we did. And I'm fine.

[Closing the window, he moved to unbuckle his armor.]

So I'm clearly doin' everything right!

[Casey isn't 100% convinced that logic ever works on adults, but it's worth a shot.]

[unrecovered]

[Or, you know, an ex-Special Ops agent trained in stealth. That could be the reason.]

Or you're lucky.

[It's the same calm tone; it's way too late - or too early - to be fighting, especially if they don't want to wake Bones up, so he may as well head that one off at the pass. Instead, he pats the bedspread next to him. Sit down, kid.]

Are you okay?

[jonesiseverywhere]

Whatever you wanna call it.

[He does, after he takes off everything that can rip, tear, poke, or bunch up, but his posture makes it clear this is not a conversation that he wants to be having. Seems like everyone in his life right now is making a hobby of prying into his business.]

Yeah. Yeah, everything's cool.

[unrecovered]

[Well, it's a conversation that's happening. Wash gives enough lip service about being okay to be able to recognize it in someone else.]

You've been out all night for the past five nights in a row. That's a record, or at least it is here. You're going out without backup, you're exhausted during the day, and you lied about where the first aid kit was. That doesn't sound like you're okay.

[jonesiseverywhere]

Ya'know there's such a thing as meeting people places, right?

[He sucks at his teeth a little. He's just...still not sure what the issue is.]

Look, this is just...what I do. It's what I've always done. Not the lying about the kit part, but the going out at night part. I mean, it's not like I got school in the morning.

[Not that that would change much of anything.]

I just...don't get the big deal.

[unrecovered]

The big deal is that you've started going out all night, every night, and that's not usual for you. The big deal is that you're lying about the kit, which tells me that you got injured at some point and didn't want anyone to know. The big deal is that you've been through something traumatic and you're acting differently, and I'm worried about you.

That's the big deal.

[jonesiseverywhere]

[Ordinarily Casey would appreciate the straightforward no-bullshit way Wash rips off the band-aid, but this time he's poking at something that's not really any of his business. He doesn't want to talk about this anymore, he wants to be able to forget it and keep going.]

Yeah, fine, I was mad about Greg and I may've lost my temper and punched a wall, OK? I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want Bones to lose his mind over a few scratches, that's all.

But Greg's back and things are cool again. So, why worry?

[unrecovered]

[Forgetting about it and keeping going is Wash's usual MO, and Casey can see just how well that works (in that it really, really doesn't).]

There's another doctor here - she came in from Chorus like I did. If you don't want Bones to know about it, I'll take you to her.

And I'm.worried because it's not 'cool again.' Losing someone is something that sticks with you, even if it wasn't permanent. I've done that enough to know.

[jonesiseverywhere]

[He's a little tired of future-doctors in general, really. He pulls off his glove to show the bandages. They're a little dirty from the grime of the street and his own sweat but it's a perfectly fine patch job.]

I already took care of it, see?

[Wow, suddenly it's obvious to him how super tired he is. He lets himself flop backwards onto the bed and squeezes his eyes shut against the light.]

Yeah, well...I dunno what you want out of me. It sucked but Greg's back, and you're back and we can't die so...

[So...what? Wasn't that good? It had just scared him, and he could deal with a little fear. He finished off the sentence with a little shrug, as the words just seemed to not want to come.]

[unrecovered]

[He holds his hand out. Let him see the hand, Casey.]

I want you to think about why you're doing what you're doing, and I want you to know that you can talk to me about it, even if you think it's stupid or not worth it. I won't judge you, I promise.

[jonesiseverywhere]

[Yeah, yeah, OK. He sits back up and lets Wash examine it. It's been a few days so it's not bleeding , but it's still red and skinned and it stings.

He's quiet, because he's thinking about it almost involuntarily. Wash isn't going to let this drop and the thought's in his head and won't leave. The determination in his voice when he speaks next is genuine, for what it's worth.]

I just...I dunno what else to do. There's a lotta danger out there and someone's gotta take care of it. If it's gotta be me, than that's what I'm gonna do.

[unrecovered]

[He unwraps the bandages gently and examines Casey's hand. Casey did a solid job wrapping it; nothing looks broken, but he's not the best judge of that. Either Bones or Dr. Grey will need to take a look at it.]

[As for what Casey is saying...well, that sounds familiar.]

And you have to do something, because otherwise you stop to think.

Why does it have to be you?

[jonesiseverywhere]

[Casey know what a broken bone feels like and this isn't broken. It's raw, but not broken.]

They have the same problem, but it comes from different directions.]

S'not that. Not just that...I always knew I was destined for somethin' great and when all the alien-ninja stuff dropped in my lap it was like...I got it, ya'know? No one else was gonna protect my city or my family, and it felt like...I was born to do this stuff.

[unrecovered]

I meant, why does it have to be you here? Why do you have to be the one working yourself into the ground every night? Do you think the city's going to come down around you if you take a night off?

[jonesiseverywhere]

[He blows out his cheeks.] Well, I can't sleep anyway so why just sit around while monsters and creeps terrorize the people I care about? This place isn't that different from my hometown anyway.

[Meaning that it very well could come down around him at any point.]

[unrecovered]

Isn't your hometown full of aliens and mutated things?

[He pauses for a moment, considering.]

...okay, fair point.

Though before the next time you go blow off steam, maybe you should look at the reason why you can't sleep.

[jonesiseverywhere]

[He makes a little shrug like "See?!" before leaning forwards on his elbows and muttering.]

Yer the expert on that...

[It's reflexive defensiveness wrapped in teenage sass. It's always easier when people yell at him. It's energizing, he knows how to respond to it, there's a release involved.

Wash's scrutiny is building up something in Casey's gut he doesn't understand or know how to deal with and he doesn't like it.]

[unrecovered]

[Oh, Wash is very familiar with sass.]

Yeah. I am. And I really don't want to see you make my mistakes, because that ends badly.

[He sighs. He my not win this one tonight.]

Look, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine, but at least talk to someone about it. Don't let it build up.

[jonesiseverywhere]

You're still goin', aren't ya?

[What doesn't kill you, right? Maybe that's the issue, it did kill someone.]

...Don't really know who I'd talk to besides you.

[Greg is freaked, Bones he'd have to catch on a good day and, well...there's the princess ponies. Maybe they'd make him a cake or something.]

[unrecovered]

There's a big difference between still going and actually living.

[He's learned that one the hard way.]

Then talk to me.

[jonesiseverywhere]

[Casey shrugs, uncomfortable. He has no idea what Wash means by that. He doesn't know how to talk about it. He doesn't know how to say he doesn't know how to talk about it. He doesn't know how to cope beyond moving forwards and working off the bad energy by cracking monster skulls.]

It's just...I never needed to...I can deal, but...

[Can't even start the sentence. What he'd give for a monster to come charging through that window right now, which was generally what ended every Important Talk he'd ever had.]

[unrecovered]

[This is the hard part. Putting exhaustion into words; feeling around the broken parts and trying to describe them to someone else; fighting embarrassment and shame, because you should be fine, everything should be fine, and talking about it is admitting that no, nothing is even close to fine.]

[Asking for help should never be this difficult, but it always is.]

[He puts a hand on Casey's shoulder and waits. He'll be here for as long as Casey needs.]

[jonesiseverywhere]

[Physically, Casey's exhausted, but his emotions and thoughts are racing out of control. The hand on his shoulder is grounding in the same way it's kind of terrifying: He really is going to have to talk about it, isn't he?]

It's just that...back home, I started doin' this to protect my family and friends, right? And I was good at it too. But...

[Still time for that monster.]

When Greg died it was like...I kept thinkin' I shoulda been out there to jump in, ya'know? Like if I'd been on patrol, I coulda done somethin'.

[unrecovered]

[This. This was always a tough thing to face, and it didn't always work.]

You're not going to like this, but...sometimes there isn't anything you can do. Sometimes these things happen, regardless of whether or not you could have affected the situation, and it- sucks.

Thinking you could have done something is hard; accepting that it was out of your control is even harder.

[He'd learned that one the hard way. Recovery, as it turned out, had been a terrible career option.]

Is this the first time you've lost someone?