Take a Walk [Closed]

[unrecovered]

[It had been a few days since Greg had come back - long enough for him to recover a bit, as far as Wash could tell, and long enough for Wash to reacclimate to Freesia. He'd headed by Greg's apartment early in the morning (but not as early as usual) to get Greg up for a morning walk. They'd work back up to the jog - for now, this was routine for the sake of normalcy.]

[It had been once around the high rises, and then into the park. About halfway in, Wash stopped in the shade of one of the larger trees.]

How're you feeling?

Comments

[panspermia]

It's not that! I just... [think he's mistaken.]

I dunno. Maybe when I was younger. It's all pretty dried up by now.

[unrecovered]

I don't buy that.

[Namely because it's not true.]

I don't buy that the guy who was using magic from the moment we met and who currently has one of the best balances of power and control in the city has no potential. I think he just...can't see it in himself. But that doesn't mean it's not there.

[panspermia]

[He had to hold back an exasperated sigh. Wash can't keep talking him up like this, or the raised expectations are going to get someone hurt. ]

Look, you keep saying that, but... every time you've seen me do anything, it's been an accident, or luck, or whatever. When I actually try, I'm lucky to make grass.

It's appreciated, Wash, seriously. But I'm not balanced or controlled or whatever else. You shouldn't go putting more behind me than I've got.

[unrecovered]

When you actually try, you raise foot-long spikes straight through the pavement. That wasn't an accident, and that wasn't luck - that was you knowing what you wanted and making it happen.

And you could do it again - bigger, more, without exhausting yourself - if you work at it. I'm not looking at what you've got - I'm looking at what you're capable of. You just have to work for it, and you'll have it.

[Wash isn't sure if he can get that breakthrough - that first step, to get Greg to realize that he could be more -that he already is more than he thinks himself to be - that he just has to reach out and grab it - but he has to try. The potential is there, and he knows it - he just has to get Greg to see it too.]

[panspermia]

[With the thorns again. He keeps trying to say it was just luck, that the plants do what they want without his knowing, but they were too impressed by that one time to hear it.

Well, it was like Greg had said: Wash was determined, and wasn't planning on giving up on him. If that was the case, he'd have to go at it from a different angle. Greg sighed, and gave him a weary smile.]

All right. Let's say I'm all that. Where do you suggest I start?

[unrecovered]

[Getting exactly what you need by sheer luck is something that only happens to the Reds and Blues, as far as Wash is concerned. The thorns didn't fall under that. Greg has something else going for him.]

You can start by believing us when we tell you you're capable.

I'm not your CO or your drill sergeant. I can't order you to do training, and I'm not going to try. I'm your friend, and I want to help you. If go along with it just to humor me, then it isn't going to work.

[panspermia]

[ Right. Like he said, Wash was sharp. He wasn't a little kid. Even if the whole thing felt absurd on Greg's side of things, it wasn't playing at building a space ship, it was looking out for someone Wash cared about. Just like Steven did.]

I've nearly lost Steven to magic more times than I can count. More times than I probably know about. Messing with this stuff... it's dangerous.

[ But now he'd messed with it. He didn't have a way out. Things were so much easier when he could play the unaware dad, hiding in his van. That option was gone, just like everything else he knew from back home. ]

I've already died from it. I... the last thing... [ He swallowed, hard. ] I nearly did to Steven what I've been scared he'd do to me.

I'm... Wash, I'm scared.

[unrecovered]

[They hadn't talked about this.]

[When Wash had died, he'd had an immediate breakdown. Greg had gone through the same thing, a few days ago now, and-]

[And they hadn't talked about it. How did he not think about this?]

Well...yeah.

[It's quiet and a little uncertain; Wash is still bad at these sorts of talks, but he can't screw this one up.]

What happened...it's terrifying. I'd honestly be more worried if you weren't at least a little scared.

But-

[His hand tightens on Greg's shoulder, just a bit.]

You don't have to do this alone. We're here for you, Greg.

[It's the best he has right now.]

[panspermia]

[It takes Greg a moment to respond; he hasn't put it in words, before, his fear of leaving Steven while here. Now that the words are out, the reality is crashing in on him. He really, really could have. He still could, there's no guarantee it will work if he dies again--and if he keeps getting in the middle of fights, he definitely will, he's not cut out for this sort of thing, the first death made that plenty clear--

He took a slow, shaking breath. This wasn't anything new. The fear he had for Steven had become a part of his life, but he faced it. If he could do it for his son, he could do it for himself.

A trembling hand touched Wash's on his shoulder, and squeezed back.]

That's all we can do, huh...? Be there. [He gulped.] Until we're not.

[He wanted to do more than just be there, for once. But if he tried doing more... he may not be doing anything, soon.]

[unrecovered]

[There was something very final to saying things aloud - all the more reason Wash didn't like to talk about his problems. It had obviously hit Greg pretty hard, and Wash gave him the time to breathe and get his feet back under him.]

[But that wasn't going to stop him from heading that train of thought off at the pass.]

No. We can prepare.

I mean, why do you think I bring you out jogging and put Casey through obstacle courses? It's training. If we're ready for these situations when they come up, we're more likely to succeed. Right now, we're working on a solid foundation, and we'll build from there.

[panspermia]

[Greg eyes Wash, before giving a small nod.]

I guess... there's no harm in starting from the beginning.

[He keeps thinking of who he's used to being--who he's been for all these years. The one on the sidelines, the support, the standerby. But if he thinks about who he has to be now... if he thinks of himself as Steven, then he knows what he has to do. Steven would try. Steven wouldn't shrink away.

He's not Steven, but he can do his best imitation.]

I... I can't promise anything. [Not success, and certainly not confidence.] But I'll try. We'll... see where it goes from there.

[unrecovered]

I hear it's a good place to start.

[Fake it 'til you make it is a legitimate strategy. Wash nods back and smiles - a small one, but it's there.]

That's all I'm asking for.