heyfreemagic | Magic Is Hard

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Magic Is Hard

[The best way to improve in a skill was training. Wash knew that. What he hadn't realized was that training went a lot more smoothly with someone who knew what they were doing in charge.]

[This probably explained why his attempts to practice magic in the park had been frustrating and fruitless for the past half hour. He had no experience in magic and no idea what to do - what he had was determination to master a weapon he'd need in order to fight, and a supply of patience that was beginning to run low.]

[His magic was different than most people's, he reasoned. He didn't have to start his own, like Casey, or use what was on hand, like Greg - no, his element was all around him all the time, and all he had to do was make it do what he wanted. Somehow.]

[Anyone who had been watching him for a bit may have seen sweeping and increasingly ridiculous arm motions - movements that might actually look cool if the wind was playing its part, but just came off as badly choreographed interpretive dance without it. Anyone who had been watching for quite a while may have witnessed him yelling at the sky about how one sweater-vested asshole could have at least provided a tutorial.]

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I may need that long.

[Look at all that self-confidence. Look at it.]

We got ambushed by Nox, and...it didn't go well. I thought we were going to die. I got desperate, and- [He punctuates the sentence with a sweep of his hand, hoping that the story will trigger something that will let him grab hold of the wind again, and-]

[Nothing happens. Of course.]

[He slumps a bit.]

That's the only time I've been able to make it work.

You're also not built to take that kind of hit. You want hand to hand training, we can do hand to hand training, but I am not full-on sparring with you.

And I told you, I don't know. If I did, I might have actually figured this out by now.

Yeah, I have told you I spar against actual ninja weapons, right?

[With blades and everything. It's the kind of sass-and-sulk mode only a teenager can activate.]

Well...Maybe we just need to get more authentic. You didn't want the tree-Nox, fine. Let's go find a real one.

[Someday Casey may grow a filter for his mouth. Today is not that day.]

[He wants to go find a real Nox-]

[Wash tenses, well aware that that could damn well bring Nox down on their heads- that they wouldn't be prepared- that he didn't know if he'd come back, and that Casey didn't deserve to go through that-]

[He's half angry and half scared to death, and it comes out as a glare and a snarl.]

Don't even think about it-

[Which is when the gust of wind tears through the park, rattling leaves off trees and blowing his hair away from his face. Wash stops dead, wide-eyed in shock, and the wind dies down.]

[Did he-]

[But he couldn't have-]

[Did he do that?]

[Casey had expected Wash to say no, expected annoyance and anger. That was no big deal. Casey figured he'd just have to turn on the persuasion, or let Wash calm down before he tried the suggestion again, or just...kind of wait for the Nox to show up for no reason, which also seemed to happen a lot.

But Casey hadn't been prepared for...that. It dried his eyes out, blew the mask off his head, and nearly took off his bandanna too. His hand shot up to protect his face out of instinct (fortunately it also put out the fire on his hand) and when it died down...

A giant grin broke out across Casey's face. That deserves a celebratory punch to Wash's arm.]

Dude! You did it!

Because if you didn't, you and your friends were gonna die.

[ Creating that same bit of desperation- there are probably ways to trigger it but none of them are something York could do and look at himself in the mirror happily. ]

Maybe you're focusing too much on trying to make it happen? Trying so hard it just kinda...doesn't work.

[He's still reeling- still trying to process what just happened- what he just did- so Casey's punch takes him by surprise, and he flinches, just a little.]

...yeah. I did.

[But how? He hadn't been angry the first time, but he was this time- and he'd been afraid. And his control had slipped.]

[Was that what it took for him to use his magic? A loss of control? And if that was the case, what the hell was he supposed to do with it?]

[Yeah, he's not celebrating - if anything, he looks more lost and worried than before.]

That is what we will begin with. I want you, for a short period of time, to just stop thinking, as best you are able. For this moment, forget about making your magic work. Simply breathe, relax... meditate, if you are at all skilled in that. If you must think of something, remember a pleasant moment in your past. We are making a clean break from what you were doing, and calming you down a little. All right?

[He almost argues - because he knows he can't just stop thinking, because that's when Epsilon starts to seep into his thoughts and he needs to keep ahead of that - but Celestia knows magic better than he does, and he did take her up on her offer. He just...needs to figure out how to do this.]

All right.

[For a moment, he wishes he had Melody or Fang with him - a comforting presence he could focus on without really having to think about it-]

[But he has Delilah. He has a tiny little calico kitten waiting for him back at the apartment. Delilah, who climbs the sofa and sleeps on his chest and likes to hunt a catnip mouse that's almost as big as she is. Delilah, who loves him regardless.]

[For the first time that day, Wash smiles. It's a very small one, sure, but it's still there, and that's what counts.]

[Celestia waits patiently for him to find that moment, and when her patience is rewarded by that smile, she smiles in turn.]

Now then. I want you to focus very clearly on an image of what you want to do -- on the image, but not on the act.

[Yeah, OK, that is not the reaction Casey expected. It seems to him that the problem is solved: Wash can use his magic when he's really pissed off or scared. It's not the BEST solution ever, but whatever, that's the problem solved. This is a new problem.

Or maybe it's the wrong problem? Maybe it's been the wrong problem all along...]

OK, what's really goin' on?

Yeah.

[Good times.]

Screaming and panicking doesn't work for everyone, York.

[He nods, already thinking. What does he want to do?]

[Well, make his magic work, obviously, but that's probably too big for this. He needs to be more specific.]

[There's a tree not too far away, and he focuses on that. There. That low-hanging branch on the left side. He's going to make the wind rattle that branch. He can do that. He pictures it once, and again, and once more for good measure.]

[Right.]

[He can do this.]

Got it.

Am I screaming and panicking now? [ Gonna port over to Wash and-

Okay so he's BEHIND wash but it's like. Right up on him. Which was the point. Okay. ]

Try relaxing? Maybe it's a zen kinda deal.

Would it be helpful if I threw the rocks at you?

[Oh so we're going here after all]

[It's reflexes and combat training that bring Wash's elbow up, ready to strike backwards; it's a conscious effort that stops the blow, and he lowers it carefully. Right. It's just York.]

[He's very obviously not good at relaxing.]

I can't.

[God dammit Luna]

How would that be helpful?

Yeah. I can see that. [ Dick move on his part, he'd earn the hit. ] You ever try some breathing exercises? Meditation, yoga, that kinda shit?

[She chuckles.] You would have to learn very quickly!

[But no - she'll just set them down.] Though I suspect you may simply be trying too hard. What are you attempting, exactly?

Now is the tricky part, and one I cannot perfectly describe to you. Concentrate on that image and make it a reality.

It is much like trying to, say, write a letter for the very first time when you are young and learning. You see what you want to accomplish, you picture it in your mind, and yet your muscles are not used to the movements necessary to put what you see to paper. This will be like that, because you are trying to make your mind intentionally work in a way it has never deliberately worked before. So do not get discouraged... simply make the effort.

[She tucks her wings in against her body as she finished, becoming less of a presence and thus less of a distraction. The exact actions, she can't tell him; all she could do was eliminate all the extraneous confusion that had been spoiling his efforts.]

[He steps away from York because seriously, why is York still directly behind him, what the hell.]

Do I look like Florida?

[For a second there, he's definitely prepared to dodge flying rocks. Good thing that doesn't seem to be happening.]

I'm trying to get my magic to work. It's not- [He gestures vaguely, helplessly] Nothing's working.

Try to stay calm. Becoming stressed won't help.

Have you been trying to make it do any specific thing?

No kidding. [Look at all that sarcasm. Where were you three hours ago?]

...work? [It's the return of the vaguely helpless hand gestures! He's really not having an easy time of this.]

[One of these days, he was going to remember that Casey was a lot sharper than he usually acted.]

What's going on is I still don't know how my magic works, and that didn't help.

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Magic Is Hard

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